“Needles and pins…”

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I hope I am safe for the rest of the weekend but I am not too confident that I am. Locking doors and windows and thankful for the dog.
I miss the strength and protection of a man who cares about me.
I want the arms that held me when I needed it. When Bob would reach for me, I always felt the butterflies rushing; that never stopped.
So stressful, this crazy law suit
Still sick and this is not helping.

*Mom – I love and miss you and I know this is making you sad. Who would have thought it would come to this?*

And yes, as things go, that applies to both situations.
And I am scared.

Adding insult to injury

Had/have flu-like symptoms today.  Such a sore throat and slamming headache.  . .
Turned out to be a nice day (I woke up for good at noon; the dog woke me 4 times between 6 and then…), so around 3:30, I sat on my front porch and finally got to Sunday’s N.Y. Times.
Felt good.
In my aching head, I was also planning dinner for the kids and whichever of their friends happen to be here.
(Roasted chicken and potatoes, noodles {daughter prefers to taters}, biscuits, broccoli and corn.)
The mailman puts mail in the mailbox (rural delivery, so it’s at the road side), then pulls in to my driveway.
Thought maybe he was turning around but instead, he got out and handed me a registered letter to sign for.
Because you know, there’s practically nothing better than having your sister sue you.
When will this end? I wish she would let our mother rest in peace.
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Someone is turning a screwdriver into my head. That’s exactly what it feels like.
And tomorrow I have my first meeting of the committee I was elected to.

*Bob? You were always such a rock for me when it came to dealing with my sister.
You shielded me and protected me.
I do thank you profusely for that support.
But now?
What else? You know…*

I think I’ll watch some episodes of “Vikings” and pull some inspiration from Lagertha.
Kick ass and take names.
So be it.

You’re kidding, right?

My phone got smashed to smithereens while I was helping my brother move.
I finally got a new one; even with “insurance”, it was $100 to replace.
When I got home, it gave me a message about not be connected to Wi-Fi.
“Would you like to connect? Choose a network. “
Bob loves Sonic; to his great pleasure and amusement, I used to buy him all kinds of Sonic paraphernalia.

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So, when setting up our internet, he chose to name it “Sonic”.
(Please excuse if my terminology isn’t exactly correct; Bob was the expert in these things.)
So, I’m staring at my phone.
Select “Sonic”.
Connect,  already.
Nope.
I have to enter the password.
“Bob loves Ria”

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Really?

Shows!

Just have to jump for joy! Or, the “real life” equivalent: blog it!

Trying to get tickets to an invite-only Mike Doughty show at a restaurant a mile from my house. Cross your fingers!

http://www.mikedoughty.com

Anddd . . .

Better Than Ezra in Brooklyn very soon  – yet to be confirmed, so say a little prayer!

http://www.betterthanezra.com/

Oh yay yay yay for (free and/or relatively inexpensive) live music!

And baby makes 8

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Bob used to lament that we didn’t have a child together.
He always told me that he wished we had met years ago so that it would have happened.
If Bob and I ever were to have a child – biological or adopted -
I was hoping to go with Donald Robert or Anna Rose for his or her name.
I do love Liam as well, but he wanted to name his youngest son that name, so that would be weird.
As if having a child at our ages isn’t odd enough…

Family names.
Carrying on tradition.
Honoring loved ones.

I used to imagine what it would be like. We both did
Then we snapped out of it.

And started talking about grandchildren.
Planning our vacations, home, ballgames, zoos and museums.
We were dreamers, but it was fun.

So now we won’t ever share any of those things.
One more memory that I need to lock away.
The vault is already mighty full.