Sundays . . .
Sometimes they get to me just a little bit.
It’s definitely always been the day of the week most filled with nostalgia.
Years and years of church, then on to my paternal grandparents’ house for the rest of the day. They owned a very modest bungalow style house, on a street in the middle of town. I spent quite a bit of time in addition to Sundays with them; I loved them very much and I think of them almost everyday. My aunts, uncles, and cousins would all come over and we would have Sunday dinner, Italian style. Somehow, we fit 26 (sometimes more) of us in that little house (with one bathroom), and the memories will live in my heart forever.
I could – and should – expand on that, but I could – and probably would – go on for far too long.
I’m pretty beat tonite, but felt the need to write.
There are so many things that I will never be able to forget, both really good things, and on the flip side, some very bad things.
One of the things that I struggle with when trying to just understand that Bob didn’t love me – that he lied to me continuously and played me for a fool – is why didn’t he just tell me and leave? It’s not like he cared about my feelings. He carried on with another woman and never once stopped to consider how his affair would destroy me.
The content of the emails between him and Viktoria just won’t leave my mind. Her telling him that she thought she got her period while on the train ride home, but then discovered it wasn’t her period at all. She had just been so aroused by him . . .
He told her that he was flattered, aroused,intrigued, excited . . .
Arranging his work and personal (and I’m including family time under that umbrella) schedule, priorities, projects and funds (personal and professional) so that he could spend as much time with her as possible . . .
I wish I could go back to the time when Sundays were speckled with fond memories . . .
Those inappropriate exchanges between Bob and Viktoria will just not allow me any peace.
And I am so afraid that they’re going to be one of those things that I’ll never be able to forget.