I am making the vast majority of my posts private for now.
My heart is so tired and my eyes need to return to their normal color and size.
I am hoping that if I take a break, I can let much of my angst go.
A million thanks for all of the support that I have received from this community and others that have discovered my blog and linked/reposted/shared my thoughts/experiences/reality.
I loved a man more than I ever thought humanly possible. He promised me forever/fidelity/devotion.
I got heartbreak/betrayal/damage.
I wish things could be different, but they aren’t. I wish he felt the same way, but he doesn’t. Never has. Never will.
I need to believe in myself again.
He is in my soul, mind, skin, muscles, hair, sheets, towels, my shower, arm-chair, kitchen stools, my house, my yard, driveway, garage, my office, my hometown, homes of family and friends . . .
But mostly, he is where he doesn’t want to be and therefore should not be: in my heart.
I need to untether myself from these ties that keep me attached to him.
They will never bring him back; they only keep me from moving forward. And I need to leave him far behind, just as he has done to me.