I’ve written sooo much for this blog. Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of privately published posts and all that you are able to read. (And no shit – after this published, I got notice that this is post. #. is. 1000!)
Many I had made public, and for one reason or another, changed my mind.
Last nite I had a nitemare.
A straight up, old fashioned, wake up crying, nitemare.
And you know, that’s what much of my time awake had been for a very long time after I discovered Bob’s fucking around.
I haven’t missed it.
This is what popped into my head, so I am going to share it with all of you:
I loved you so much and I wish you still did. You don’t love me and you never will. Maybe I’m kidding myself: maybe you never truly had. Our lives came together in thE most surprising, epic, explosive and unbelievable manner…
And it all fell apart the same way.
I’d give almost anything to go back to when I was your “love”… And you were my “honey”.
My heart was ready to accept everything that happened – to open up and tuck you safely back inside.
But you don’t want that.
You don’t need me.
My heart or any part of me.
I have been replaced.
You see, sometimes my nitemare is real.
Because you are.
All of it… everything.